I don't know how to explain it but sometimes I just get this insane urge to run away from everyone, like I'm trying to scrub the scents of others off me and just get out of my own skin.
And it's happening now. It feels like I can't breathe in the space everyone is in. I need my own bubble, my very own personal space.
It's hard to explain it in words that people can understand. It's just this sense of fear that everyone's gonna take over you and soon there'll be nothing left in you in the end.
Been feeling off ever since service ended and if I really had a choice, I wouldn't have stayed on. I need to run, remove every trace of everything on me and just focus on what's inside and breathe.
I feel so tense. Like I'm afraid the predator will leap onto my coward self and tear my body into infinite pieces as I bleed from each gaping wound and secretly pray for death.
I'm being over dramatic again. I think the crowd just got into me. For now I guess, I just have to hide out in the toilet and try to calm myself down before facing the world again.
Is this the start of social anxiety? I don't know but as the date of the semester nears, my fear steadily increases and cripples me.
But I'm no longer relinquishing any power to it. I need to take control of my life and speak faith into my future instead.
It's just a small moment of fear and this moment will soon pass me behind.
I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me.
Good day ahead everyone~
No comments:
Post a Comment