My cousin scored really well for his exams. A+ for every philosophy module except for one and his lowest grade's a B+. That's like scarily smart, like genius like smart. Suddenly, I feel incredibly dumb.
I know my grades are quite good considering I have no background in literature but I'm not satisfied and I think it's because somehow along the way I've associated academic achievements with personal success and that's stupid.
In all honesty though I'm happy for my cousin. I'm just unhappy that I'm unhappy over this yknow?
I wish I have the burning passion to study my major like how he does it but the truth is, I find myself doubting my choices more often than not especially when it comes to my choice of modules.
...
I picked up advanced level in Chinese. I don't know why but I did. Maybe it's because I loved China Studies in poly. Maybe it's because it helped me grow as a person and that feeds into my bilingual dreams. I don't know but I love Chinese and the thought of not speaking it ever again terrifies me more than I think.
Maybe I'll regret it. Maybe I won't. Truth is, I'll probably still stick with it cause that's how I roll. I make wrong choices over and over again and constantly sink myself into a pool of regret.
#truestory
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