Sunday, February 21, 2016

Nobody cares

So damn fed up with social commitments and all those damn things. I feel like a ticking bomb just waiting to explode anytime now. Like wtf man wtf. Every weekend is wasted away just like that. I don't even know what the fuckity fuck I'm doing with my life seriously. Where in hell has all my time gone to?

I just wanna hide in a corner of a cave or something. Being human is difficult. Socialising is tough. Being a lonely island is the best. I DO NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH FUCKING SHITS.

My sister is mad at me because I accidentally spilled water on the floor while I was drying my clothes and she took a giant fall and now she's angry that I didn't apologise and didn't even ask her if she's fine.

Seeing as she got up two seconds after lying on the ground and proceeded to wash her own shorts while bitching at me, I do not see why I have to ask her if she is fine when she seems to me to be perfectly okay. As for the not apologising part, well, I was going to but she made such a huge deal of it my pride wouldn't allow me anymore. BESIDES, it's not like she gave a shit about me anyway. How about the time I fell in bloody Pulau Ubin? Not like anyone bloody cared right? The scars on my legs, the cuts on my thigh and my obviously bruised and shattered self esteem? Do they even care? I walked home drenched in the rain for HOURS and no one noticed a thing. I've gotten so good at hiding I don't even know why I bother anymore. It's not like anyone's seeing a damn thing right?

Should have just let the car bang me yesterday and die on the street or something. Maybe that'll tell my sister something. Like hey, you took a fall and you're bitching about it like fuck, how about your younger sister who almost bloody died yesterday for no bloody reason at all? How about that?

My regular friends gave no shit to that. It was my uni friend who called and asked me if I was okay. During that heavy rain, I'll admit it, I cried. Because I suddenly realised how goddamn alone I was in this giant huge piece of earth. And guess what sister? Nobody cares.

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