Fuck

School is supposed to make things better. It's supposed to provide me a distraction from the things that plague my mind.

But now it's the one driving me fucking insane.

I genuinely wanted to cry when I read Chaucer's The General Prologue I and I don't even know why. The use of Middle English is driving me crazy. If I had a penknife now, I'll probably slash the crap out of that poem. (before slashing myself, obviously)

I'm starting to hate this world that I am in. I just want a damn break from Middle English for fuck's sake. Why the fuck can't my brain process this crap? Fuck!

THEN THERE IS THE MATTER OF THE FUCKING RACIST FLY THAT I WON'T ELABORATE FURTHER. (Check my private twitter account @poodung)

It's like everything is going against me in the worst possible way and I really hate to say this but it's only been three weeks since school started but here I am already having a mental breakdown so what the fuck do I do with my life from now on?

I can literally feel the stress slowly piling up and choking me from the inside out.

All I wanna do right now is relieve it y'know? But I can't fucking cut cause I promised myself and I promised God and there are so many people out there who fucking care about me so I can't do this but fuck.

I NEED TO CUT.

Who the fuck cares at this point about this whole fucking issue when right now I'm three steps away from killing myself so to speak.

Fuck this crap.

Gimme a penknife and let's get this done and over with.

I wanna kill myself so badly tonight.