Untitled thoughts

I told my parents that I'm going out, but I'm not. Not really. I'm just rotting, staring into the air dreaming of blue skies and sunshine.

O Sunlight! The thought of it hitting my face just fills me up with warm fuzzy feelings. And sweat. So much sweat. It stinks my insides with Ammonia's lover.

Am I... sad? I don't know. Why am I wandering beneath the void decks when I can go home? I don't understand. Do I not want to go home? Perhaps.

I've slept a lot but I still feel so tired. I tried squeezing myself into a ball on the floor, closing my eyes and counting to ten but midway my mind blanks out and I lose count of what I'm counting. But I don't feel bothered about it. No.

I'm sad, sad cause the world is filled with so much pain. I look into their eyes and I see it. The anguish burning so bright in their souls. I wish I can help them but I can't. I'm powerless. I wish I don't have to see them. They make me feel hopeless, dead eyes like empty hollow sockets with speckles of whites in them.

I don't know what I'm rambling on anymore. I should stop. Good day to you all, or rather good night. Love you.